ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
