let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You need a sexual gate keeper
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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