You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
