just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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