just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
