I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
