Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
