Kiss
Puke
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
nutella sex= disaster
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
