and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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