I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
