mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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