cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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