I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
don't judge my taste in strippers
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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