It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
