if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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