we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
