I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
