IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
