Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
