he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize