Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize