i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
