we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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