I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
and you fell through a lawn chair
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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