I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize