You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
