The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize