Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
