whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize