I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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