Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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