No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
