super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
