At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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