Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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