whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
