So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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