did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
