Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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