I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
