fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize