and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
