I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
