I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
