You really coming over, don't trick.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
