I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
