This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Terrible idea I love it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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