Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize