i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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