She said her name was "party"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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