i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
