I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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