This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
