dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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