so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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