I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
