Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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