Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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