ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We just shotgunned beers for America
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize