It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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