I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
