The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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