someone owes me an orgasm
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
