My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize