he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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