went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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