i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
